'This is the first time I have ever asked to have some time off': Boss tells nanny to miss sister's wedding to watch her two kids instead

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jul 21, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

You give your boss ample time to find someone to cover your shift when you need time off, but chances are they'll still forget and bug you to do the shift anyway. This person, u/Nannyneedabreak, definitely gets that. 

In their post to r/AmItheA**hole, this nanny wanted to know if she was wrong for the way her boss was treating her. As she noted, she wanted to go to her sister's wedding, and like a good employee, she gave her boss a ton of notice — seven months notice, in fact! That's plenty generous, and not only that, but the OP reminded their boss numerous times that they needed this time off. The OP claims their boss agreed, and even told them to have a good time. So it came as a surprise to the OP that their boss suddenly needed them to babysit on the same exact weekend of the wedding. 

When you're a nanny, you're working with families incredibly closely. Sometimes as a nanny, you're the one who wakes the kid up, then you take them through their whole day, and sometimes you're even the one who puts them to bed, too! You get really close with both the kids and their parents. Since you're working with kids, it's easy to let the family you nanny for control your life --- they'll make you feel like you're one of the family. They might not understand why you can't work in the same way a boss at a retail or office job might understand. However, this employee did everything right, and still their employer turned around and tried to guilt them into working. 

Next up, this person's boss keeps trying to get them to help out, but their former employee does not care to help them whatsoever. 

Advertisement
  • 01
    Purple - 'I got a text 2 hours ago saying [my boss] really needed me this weekend and she couldn't find anyone else' A B
    via Element5 Digital on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - AITA for for saying no to my boss after she asked me to watch her kids this weekend? Not the A-hole So my (22F) sister is getting married this coming weekend and I will be gone Thursday-Sunday. I've had this known that I was going to be gone for 7 months... 7 MONTHS!! I would even remind every month or so just so I knew she knew.
    via u/Nannyneedabreak
  • 03
    Font - I nanny two amazing kids who are 6 and 8. This is the first time I have ever asked to have some time off. My boss has always been like "Oh yeah sure! Sounds like a beautiful wedding." However I got a text 2 hours ago saying she really needed me this weekend and she couldn't find anyone else. I was ped but I know how to act calm, since ya know it's my job to stay happy and calm. I texted her back a quick apology but said I really didn't want to miss my sisters wedding as she's my only sibl
    via u/Nannyneedabreak
  • 04
    Font - Well boss woman went off the deep end and said that if I didn't show up to watch her kids this weekend that I won't have a job come Monday. I replied with this exactly. " I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time looking for someone to cover, I can reach out to a few nanny friends I have and see if any of them would like to pick it up. This is a once in a life time moment for my sister and if it means I will lose my job then sadly I will have to accept that. I love this job and your ki
    via u/Nannyneedabreak
  • 05
    Font - She threw a few insults at me and said I'm abandoning her kids. Idk what to do, I don't want to get a new job because I work so well with these two kiddos.
    via u/Nannyneedabreak
  • 06
    Font - My mom told me I was an as for so quickly accepting that I might get fired and told me that work just sucks sometimes and you have to suck it up. Mom says I should be an adult and just miss my sisters wedding... idk should I? Am I really that big of an AH for saying no?
    via u/Nannyneedabreak
  • 07
    Font - Edit: Just to clarify me and my mom don't have a good relationship, I didn't ask her for her advice. She was in the room with my sister and I as I was venting to my sister. I would have gone no contact at 18 if it wasn't for my dad. Can we please stop talking about it now I have a lot of trauma from her but that's for another day lol.
    via u/Nannyneedabreak
  • 08
    Font - ndcollector 4 34 Aficionado [12] A: Your mom's right. Sometimes life sucks and you have to suck it up. That is sound advice - for your boss. Her weekend plans cannot trump her children. If she can't find coverage, she has to take care of them herself. That sucks, but she has to suck it up.
    via u/ndcollector
  • 09
    Font - OutlandishnessNew259. S A Aficionado [15] NTA if you give in on this she will not respect your time ever. Do you really think she's going to find a new nanny by Monday? No chance, it's an empty threat ... and if it's not you don't need to work for that kind of a monster.
    via u/OutlandishnessNew259
  • 10
    Font - claypolejr Colo-rectal Surgeon [47] ΝΤΑ Mom says I should be an adult and just miss my sisters wedding That would be wrong. You handled this situation professionally, like an adult, from the outset.
    via u/claypolejr
  • 11
    Font - IgnorantKumquat. Tho it makes me wonder if mom has some sort of alterior motive in saying that. Even my dad is a massive hard a when it comes to work and he would sooner tell me to call my boss up and tell them to 'kiss my al gave u a warning its ur job to find coverage' than to miss something as big as a wedding for someone he cared about.
    via u/IgnorantKumquat
  • 12
    Font - MsBaseball34 Colo-rectal Surgeon [43] Your boss threatened to fire you for taking your first time off ever, with 7 months notice, to go to your sister's wedding. Read that again. You need to look for a new job wedding or not, and I say that as an employer who has people ask for time off all the time. ΝΤΑ.
    via u/MsBaseball34
  • 13
    Font - djcack Exactly! Your job isn't your entire life. This wasn't a last second surprise wedding. Enjoy the beautiful experience and if you lose your job over it, then the job wasn't as good as you thought it was.
    via u/djcack
  • 14
    Font - human61850 A ΝΤΑ Aficionado [19] It's not just about missing your sister's wedding. It's about setting boundaries now for how your boss is allowed to treat you in the future. If you give in, she will keep making unreasonable requests whenever it suits her and ignoring your needs for as long as you work for her.
    via u/human61850
  • 15
    Font - DisneyViking A Enthusiast [8] Nta. Go to your sisters wedding. You can always get a new job or earn more money, this is a once in a lifetime event. Also, GREAT response to your boss! Very mature and professional. Side note. It sounds like your boss was trying to play chicken with you and didn't like you didn't back down.
    via u/DisneyViking
  • 16
    Font - Boring-Marsupial7299. ΝΤΑ I'm curious as to what your sister thinks about this. "Hey sis, Mum said my job is more important than your wedding."
    via u/Boring-Marsupial7299
  • 17
    Font - Malibucat48 A Enthusiast [7] Of course NTA. If she can't find a babysitter for the weekend, how is she going to find a new nanny for Monday? And if nannies are in short supply, you can get another job. I can't believe your mother would take her side. You might like the children, but this mother is out of line. Of course go to your sister's wedding.
    via u/Malibucat48

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

boss bossy babysitter kids nanny babysitting wedding Horrible Bosses weekend sister bad bosses weddings aita
Scroll Down For The Next Article